1. Ethnography’s often include patterns of narration (story) or description. You set the scene, but in many cases I couldn’t picture the place or surroundings. Situate your reader. In this space below, consider drawing a map of the place you describe to allow yourself to see it better. Could you describe the scene to a blind person?
There are recreational and competition classes provided through this small studio, located in the back of a warehouse off Highway 169. There are five rooms (also referred to as studios) total; Blue Room, Green Room, Yellow Room, Loft 1 and Loft 2. Mondays are buzzing with kids and parents of all ages, the chaos starting at 3:45 and lasting well after 9:00.
2. Incorporate research into your writing. Use research to provide background, develop a larger sense of the group, its history and purpose. We have the observations and primary sources, but secondary sources need development in many cases. Without background we don’t have perspective. Find two online sources. Take time to explore our databases at Normandale.
- "Anorexia Linked to Child Dancers."BBC News Services. (2004): n. page. Web. 10 Oct. 2011. <http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4121221.stm>.
- "Glossary of Ballet." Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia 10 October 2011. n. pag. Wikipedia. Web. 12 Oct 2011. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_ballet>.
3.Provide a day in the life. Put us right into a moment in time. Describe the place, the people, their way of speaking.Here is an area of key weakness. There just isn’t enough dialogue in these pieces.
Example: The group prayed—should be: Jack led the group in prayer. When he bowed his head, his black hair fell in front of his eyes. Everyone joined hands in a circle and some began to sway like trees in a forest when the wind moves among them. Jack was quiet for a long time before speaking. “Lord,” Jack began…After the prayer he read from Psalm 121, which begins….Find one key area where your paper needs work and expand it.
Camila smiles as she pushes the door open to see her instructor Kyle waiting for them patiently, going through steps in her head before the class starts. She has a huge white binder perched atop her knees as she sits cross-legged on a stool, warmly welcoming her students into class as they slowly trickle in, most showing signs of fatigue from the tediousness of the previous class. Not wasting any time, Kyle takes a visual attendance and jots down that there are no absences. Every teacher loves when their entire class shows up, because they can then teach a good amount of their dance without having to repeat themselves the next week. With already warm dancers in her midst, Kyle leads a short warm-up, delicately switching the young dancer’s brains from ballerina to contemporary....
4. Be self reflective. What were you thinking and feeling while you were watching this moment? In many cases I wasn’t sure what compelled the writer to explore this area of research. I didn’t know their preconceptions, what they thought would happen versus what actually did. I didn’t know what most of you were feeling.
It’s such a joy to see someone do what he or she is passionate about, and be able to tell. As I observe Camila in her element, a maternal instinct washes over me, and I beam with pride watching her beautiful movements.
5. Make sure to incorporate observations of rituals, artifacts, and interpretations. Some of this you may need to supplement with research. Again, dialogue is a key because it shows insider language. Always use specifics.
Dancers are sometimes forced to pull more than twelve-hour days at convention centers, high school gymnasiums, and auditoriums, at times dancing at 7 in the morning and 9 at night. They are draining, full of made up faces, fake eyelashes, dance shoes galore, tights, spare tights in case the others run, costume changes, practicing, hair spray and lots of sugar to keep the little ones energetic. For the passionate kids like Camila, competition weekends are a dream come true, she loves seeing her teammates and having the whole family cheer for her. She insists that she likes the long days (probably because it means more sugar and caffeine for her).
6. What did your adventure teach you? Why does such a group exist? What does it say about our society? Effective Conclusions:
- • include a brief summary of the paper's main points.
- • ask a provocative question.
- • use a quotation.
- • evoke a vivid image.
- • call for some sort of action.
- • end with a warning. • universalize (compare to other situations).
- • suggest results or consequences
How will you wrap your paper up?
The subculture of dance is split up into so many different categories, two being solely in the competition dancer’s world. Though some young dancers think it’s ok to dress and dance maturely, this culture should not be lost because of them. There are intelligent, beautiful girls, the underdogs, who make dance what it was meant to be: a passion and art within a sport. These girls will go on to do great things, and hopefully will enlighten our future competition dancers to be all they can be, regardless of talent and appearance. What an interesting and fun journey I went on with Camila, she never stopped amazing me and I’m so proud to call her my little competition-dancing, athlete of a sister.
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